Was invited to Ruth's convocation to take some graduation pics. Not very adventurous due to no spotters around. But nevertheless, manage to get shoot a few very nice pics.
Singapore First full Convo Cupie?
Unglam Heel Stretch...
Anyways, thanks Ruth for the invite to take these pictures, especially when its just outside Nanyang Audit... Damn AA la...
And yes! Finally i extended my driving boundaries to JB! Everything is like damn cheap over there la... Food, petrol, movies etc etc... Gonna explore more of JB, dig out the food hotspots. First food on the list will be BAK KUT TEH! Already got a few places recommended by colleagues and i am going to hunt them down this week to see if there are really good. Will post pics again.
Every chick knows how hard it is when she puts in serious time with a guy who refuses to commit ... until he moves on to his next girlfriend, and then suddenly, he's springing for a rock. Women assume that a guy will pop the question once he finds someone he's compatible with, i.e., The One. But that's not enough to push him over the edge, according to clinical psychologist Alon Gratch, Ph.D., author of If Men Could Talk. What, then, does it take?
"Being ready," says Gratch. "In my 25 years of experience working with men as a relationship therapist, it's 49 percent the right woman, 51 percent his readiness to commit." That means that compatibility is hugely important. But if he's not in a marriage mind-set yet, he's not going to commit to anyone ... not even Gisele.
In fact, 81 percent of the married men surveyed by the National Marriage Project said one reason they decided to wed was because it was the right time to settle down.
"Of course, even if a guy is ready to walk down the aisle, he still needs to find the right person," says Gratch. "But he is more likely to meet her once he's in that marrying state of mind." To help us figure it all out, we asked Gratch to explain. Here, he divulges the five factors that make a man want to take the plunge.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #1
The Capacity to Love
No matter how head-over-heels your guy is during the initial honeymoon period of the relationship, it doesn't mean he is ready to commit. A man might fall in love, which requires the capacity to idealize. That means thinking and feeling like his partner and the relationship are uniquely special, enabling him to ignore imperfections, which, in turn, makes him feel valued and special.
Loving, on the other hand, involves connecting with the other person, understanding her, and wanting to be with her for who she is, not who he'd like her to be.
While it might be difficult to decipher the difference between the two, one clue is the test of time. Falling in love happens early on in a relationship, when a couple barely knows each other. Once they become more intimate and learn more about each other's positive and negative traits and the initial love buzz is gone, a man who is only in love will lose interest. If he truly loves, he'll stay.
Another major telltale sign of real love is selflessness and the ability to care. Does your man make sacrifices for you? Is he able to put your wants and needs before his? Relationships are all about give and take, but love is more about giving.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #2
Being Able to Accept Imperfection
Intellectually, we all know that there are no perfect people and, therefore, no perfect relationships. But it often takes maturity and dating experience to actually believe it.
Take a client of mine, who broke up with a wonderful woman simply because he thought he could do better. A year later, he met someone else, who was also great but far from perfect. After two years of dating, he decided to propose. If he had met her a few years earlier, he would have broken up with her too. But now, he realizes that this is as good as it gets, though it took him several relationships to finally understand that.
Having unrealistic expectations makes it impossible for a man to develop a close bond. If a guy who isn't ready starts getting too close to a woman, he'll look for imperfections, either consciously or subconsciously, to create distance between them and, ultimately, to give him a reason to break up with her.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #3
He Truly Believes in Commitment
Even if a man tells you that he's in it for the long term, you won't really know the level of his staying power until you hit some rough patches. If he's not ready, he won't be able to handle the negative aspects of a relationship, and he'll either shut down — and shut you out — or bail. A man who is truly ready to bond will be willing to work with you to try to resolve whatever problems the two of you are having.
This doesn't mean that he'll never experience any doubts or even think about leaving. But at the end of the day, he'll realize that his relationship is a top priority, and whatever discomfort he might have to endure to work out the kinks is worth it. It's a trade-off he's willing to make.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #4
He's Sure He Can Be the Man
Even though stereotypical gender roles have loosened up and many men are no longer required to be the breadwinners, a lot of guys still worry, deep down, that they should be ... and a lot of women still expect it. So if a guy feels that he can't live up to his — or his partner's — expectations, he might put off getting seriously involved to avoid feeling like he's not capable. It's a way for him to protect his ego.
According to the National Marriage Project, 47 percent of men agree that they wouldn't want to get married until they could afford to own a home, and 40 percent would want to be able to afford a nice wedding.
But it's not just the money — or lack thereof — that will cause a guy to shy away from commitment. If a guy is putting all of his time and energy into pursuing a goal, whether it's climbing the corporate ladder or working toward finishing medical school, he just won't have anything left to give to a partner, both physically and emotionally. So he puts romance on the back burner.
Now that's not to say he will never want to pop the question. If your man is floundering careerwise or struggling to make ends meet, it might be in your interest to bide your time and wait for him to become ready. Of course, it depends on the dynamic between the two of you. But if he seems fully engaged in the relationship, clearly states that he wants to get married after he accomplishes whatever goal he has been working on, and his time frame is reasonable, your patience could eventually pay off.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #5
He's Tired of Playing Around
While there's no specific age at which men are ready to marry (nor do they all mature at the same rate), after a while, going from one superficial relationship to another begins to lose its allure, and they crave a deeper kind of bond with someone.
This more intimate mind-set may be expedited if all the guy's friends are starting to settle down. For one thing, it becomes harder for him to find buddies to party with. But more important, with everyone around him getting more serious about their relationships, he's more likely to reflect on what he wants in life. Though bachelorhood can be fun and exciting, it's often emotionally unfulfilling. And ultimately, at some point, most men want to have that soul-mate connection.
For those who have been watching Discovery Channel, i think i can be one of those mythbusters.
As much as I would like to wear my usual jeans and polo T to St James today, XW asked me to wear something more formal to compliment him. So i said why not, perhaps try something more mature, like polo T and pants with leather shoes.
I was on my way home after sending Yod back to hall, when i realised who gave me this pair of Pedro shoes last year for my birthday. At that time, i recalled someone telling us, "You should not buy shoes for someone you love, for he shall walk out of you." I just laughed the joke off.
One year on, as i took the pair of shoes of my feet, i gave myself a good laugh. Not only have I busted a myth, but the myth has reversed as well.
So, beware when your loved ones give you a pair of shoes, cos he/she will walk out of you 1 day.
Just pass a quarter of a century. Feeling the oldness in me. Lets recap my accolades/highlights while i was 25.
1) Graduate from NTU after 4 years of suffering. (July 2007) 2) Landed myself a good paying job. (August 2007) 3) Bangkok Fishing Trip (January 2008) 4) Cheerobics 2008 Champions(March 2008) 5) Singapore First Pop Over (April 2008) 6) USA Training (May 2008) 7) Ownership of Car (May 2008) 8) Cheerleading Asia International Open(CAIO), Tokyo (June 2008)
And the best thing that ever happened to me this year : Freedom
With that, I look forward to achieve many more this year. Let the transformation begin.
PS: Thanks to XWs, Kah Weng, Qinghui and others who have given me your well wishes.
For everything that happened, there is 2 sides to the story. After slightly more than a month in "exile", i shall offer my side of the story now that i can "see" and think with a more rational mind.
To the faithful readers of my blog, bear with me.
To whom i have mentioned, i meant no offence.
To whom(s) i have detested: Here is how it goes if you are reading.
Right from the beginning of our relationship back in Jan 2007, i promised to give you a better life after my final semester. To your friends who have seen or thought that i was a rich kid, i was never one. I vowed to provide for whatever you needed, from the financial freedom right down to all the tiny good things in the world. Now, i wished that we could live the kind of quality life we had from the beginning, even if it means having 20 bucks in my bank for the whole month. At least, we enjoyed each other company living the simple life.
After knowing that i only graduated with a Pass with Merit, job hunting was the biggest problem i faced. Fearing not being able to secure a good paying job to keep my promises, alongside with the pressure i was facing from my family, i had little choice but to take up the next best available job offer which i am currently in now, running alternating day and night shifts. It was never my ideal to run shifts, knowing the fact that i will lose precious time spent with you, but i had little or no choice.
You complained that I am always tired, but have you wondered why? So that I can provide for what you need to live in comfort. If i had to work overtime, it was for you.
You said I threw cash at you. Why? I believe what i have said earlier should suffice. To provide for you.
Barely 2 weeks after I started my job, you fractured your ankle. That night you went to operate, i felt so useless and helpless that there was nothing i can do to alleviate all the pain you went through. After you were wheeled into the operating theatre,i went home and cried for the first time in so long. Again, i vowed to do whatever it takes to nurse you back to shape in the shortest time possible, so that you have a fighting chance to compete in Cheerobics 2008, something which you had so much anticipated for that i will not allow your ankle to set you behind the rest of your peers.
For the next month pushed my physical and mental limits, from having to ferry you to and fro school, sleep late at night to search for what is the fastest way you can recover for a comeback, carry you up the 4 level of stairs and so on. The list is never ending, i went through hell to see you walk again, train again, put you above your training peers. I know my efforts are not in vain to have you competing alongside with me in Cheerobics 2008, my best competition and performance i had with Aces. You proved to the world how strong you were, including your mum who went down to see you perform. At that moment in time, I was so proud to have you.
All these while, i sensed nothing wrong with our relationship. I thought it was at the peak but... ...
As i was looking forward to our japan trip, my company's last minute arrangement to send me to US for training was never my choice. It was my biggest chance to move on in my career after 4 months of intensive cheerobics training. How silly was I to fight for a place in the japan team, even if it meant quarrelling with Ian and Weicheng. In the end, i lost my position in the competition team. Well, i thought all is not lost, at least we can still spend together overseas, a short holiday to reward ourselves after all the hardwork.
I flew to US on May 11. I might have bought all the branded things for you, not because i think you are the spoiled girl that whats this and that, but because i just wanted you to look good. It never crossed my mind that you were that spoiled girl who only wanted Ben & Jerry ice cream or only wanted to have sashimi for supper. 1 week into US, i sensed things started to go amiss.
"What would you do if you knew that someone was after me? Will you fight back?"
I dunnoe if i answered correctly, my readers: judge for me "If its time to let go, i will let you go."
You hinted me, but yet refused to tell me anything.
"I don't want you to suffer all these alone overseas, I will wait for you to come back and decide after we come back from Japan. Now I just want to concentrate on the Japan competition."
I had little choice but to find out what happened. It just sucks big time, knowing that the culprit was someone whom i had LEAST and LAST expected.
You dropped the first bomb while i was transiting in Korea. You went back on your word. I tried to take it in my stride, thinking that i still have a trip to japan to salvage it. You dropped the second and biggest bomb in the entire episode that night we flew to japan. To see you donning that brown jacket, you had sentenced me to death. I wished i could just turn back and head home at that very point of time, but i felt i had to repay the team for what she has allowed me to achieve. I wanted to display my professionalism as a cheerleader, not a loser to a failed relationship. For that, I endured 4 days of ordeal, even if it means breaking my wrist to compete, i will compete no matter what.
I finally released all that vented feelings i have tried to hold on so tightly, but i could not help it but just keep drinking and be like a fool in front of the team. I needed an outlet, the pressure building within me was too overwhelming. It did not help that you came to speak to me outside the dining area. You made it worse.
"Will it make you feel better if me and him are just friends?"
After displaying everything, what are you trying to prove? That you two are together but not official? Save it. I dun need you to tell me that, cos actions speaks way much louder than words. I can't wait to go back to SG.
For the month of June, i bury my woes in work. I had a choice, but I chose to work 11 days straight to try and numb myself.
The drinking session at Boulevard on 6 June : I was the organiser. Naturally, I left Jimmy out. In fact, they informed me that you guys were there already and had suggested to change a venue. I thought: why should i make things inconvenient for me when i have done nothing wrong and i am out to enjoy myself. I wanted to see what is it like for Boulevard to be "crime scene". I told them to stay put, i am not moving anywhere else.
Lets get this clear : They did not leave you out because of what you did to me, but because of what you did to them. Reflect.
At the end of it all, I hope you have found your happiness, while i have found mine in much greener pastures.
My tag board is free for all, you dun have to reserve your comments about how I felt about this entire episode. Its ok. Time to move on.
I will end here with this song which i find it so hard to post but nevertheless, there you go.
We were as one babe For a moment in time And it seemed everlasting That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free So I'm letting you fly Cause I know in my heart babe Our love will never die No!
You'll always be a part of me I'm a part of you indefinitely Girl don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby And we'll linger on Time can't erase a feeling this strong No way you're never gonna shake me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I ain't gonna cry no And I won't beg you to stay If you're determined to leave girl I will not stand in your way But inevitably you'll be back again Cause ya know in your heart babe Our love will never end no
You'll always be a part of me I'm part of you indefinitely Girl don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby And we'll linger on Time can't erase a feeling this strong No way you're never gonna shake me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I know that you'll be back girl When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh I know that, you'll be right back, babe Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time
You'll always be apart of me I'm part of you indefinitely Girl don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby And we'll linger on Time can't erase a feeling this strong No way you're never gonna shake me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....
You'll always be apart of me (you will always be) I'm part of you indefinitely Girl don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby And we'll linger on (we will linger on....) Time can't erase a feeling this strong No way you're never gonna shake me Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
Been down for the past few days with a real BAD back sprain. First time ever it was so bad that i went for a xray and requested for a checkup by a specialist. Its been almost a week now yet the pain has not subsided, hopefully nothing goes wrong, else I will really have to retire from cheerleading.
It sux to be on MC, yet having to work from home, be on standby the past 3 nights lying on bed. Well, i guess thats working life, cannot avoid. Spencer, welcome to the working world and land of Godfathers... haha
