Heard this classic song on the way to work today. Heard this song last week while playing mahjong, my friend told me this song was like damn popular back in the 80s/90s. I guess everyone has heard this song before.

How many times have we taken a step back and appreciate the little things around us? All it takes is just 1 wrong move to lose it. I am not trying to imply anything here but just a reminder to all : Appreciate the small things in life.

Feeling damn sucky. FUCK MAN! Dun ask me why.

Hoo...

How 'bout a round of applause
Yeah...
Standing ovation
Oohhhh... yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah...

You look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out


Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone
You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on
Talkin' about, girl, I love you, you're the one
This just looks like the re-run
Please, what else is on



And don't tell me you're sorry cause you lied
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

And the award for the best liar goes to you
For making me believe that you could be
Faithful to me
Lets hear your speech ohh

How about a round of applause
A standing ovation


But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

But it's over now

A change of environment after almost 2 years. Seems like I have found a place to continue my passion, at my own pace, with the right peeps. High time to move on.

At least I proved to myself that i can left cupie more than ONE person, pop over more than ONE person. Ian, you are right. It was meant for someone else. I will continue to improve, and hopefully be many first.

Today, I met up with another group of cheerleaders. Noticing the way the train, though simple stunts, but i realised the biggest difference : To be objective driven, or passion driven. I think i belong to the latter. Its just so different when training with them. I loved it.

Here I come.

I heard another bomb today. Another colleague tendered. This leaves just my senior and me to run the department. Life ain't gonna easy like a bed of roses last year. Sometimes I really wonder if i should stay on. If my senior leaves, I can safely say that I am next in line to be promoted. Sounds good yeah? But on the other hand, I cannot stay in this line for too long, for i am missing out all the good things in life, things which I can enjoy doing.

It was a hell of a friday for me. After all the fire fighting last night on the production floor. All boss had to say was, "Why can't we hit the target? I thought....."

"I thought"..... See what that means. Miscommunication. I hate this word to the core. Shall not bore my readers with the details but for the working force, you know what i mean.

Totally lost my mood to do anything else today. Dammit. Its Friday night, and I am still fire fighting with my operators. How sian can it be?

Things are different this time round. Age, income, nationality. These will be the barriers to overcome. But as CQH says, dun care, just go for it. Perhaps at our age, there is nothing to be afraid of, or even, to be straight forward is the best. Movie on saturday, here i come.

In pain, but hopefully after pain comes pleasure.

Wow. It was a crazy weekend I must say.

1) Caught up with Munhong and Weida @ Carl Juniors. ( We all had double burgers!)
2) Went drinking with them.
3) Play a WHOLE day of Mahjong(and lost money.dammit)
4) Played ANOTHER night of Mahjong, I just love mahjong(lost money again)

Wrapping up the weekend, I had to start the MS Project course in office. I think I really lost my lecture stamina already. 1hr into the training, i already trying hard to keep myself awake.

But the highlight of the weekend was on monday(though its not a weekend but i considered it as a package cos all good things come together!), was the dinner with her. She was sick since we came back from US so i just asked her out for dinner after we conducted the training. We went to extension for the fish soup mee sua. Somehow, the mee sua never tasted so nice b4. I just wish time would stop there and we can just eat there forever,haha. Just a simple dinner, sent her home after that. Everything just felt so nice. Next up, ask her out for a movie or sing ktv. When? I dunnnoe, but will update you guys. Have to take it slow and steady. remember?

Really looking forward to date you out. Till then, pls take care of your throat k?

Yays! TGIF!!!

Finally I can have the weekend off to catch up with wateva I have missed out these 2 weeks. Meeting up with Munhong and gang, MJ session(i really miss mj, its been a month since i last played!). I think i need time to go fishing as well, cannot remember when was the last time i fished. Cannot wait to hear the reel SSSSCCCRRREEEAAAMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its really been a long 2 weeks for me, since i was back from japan. Working everyday has kept me real busy, trying to meet up with boss expectation. I hope i have performed much better than before, for i can fully focus on my work now.

Need to drop by malaysia one of these days as well. Prepared my passport already. hahaha

I really wish i can go taiwan with the devils peeps, but after consulting with my senior, i really have to say i cannot make it for the trip. My company really needs my support now, for alvin has tendered and MFG dept will be down to 4 engineers(or 2?) Never mind, devils, bring the skills back and show the rest what we are capable of!

For Devils!

TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY


Its such a nice word.

Dammit, Taiwan is too tempting already. Should I go?

This year, I have been travelling quite a bit. Thailand in January, US in May, Japan in June and now, perhaps Taiwan in July? Can treat it as my birthday treat for myself...Lets see to it.

Its been a year of ups and downs, but I am definitely going to make it more UPS than downs. Challenge me.

My 11 days of work is finally coming to an end. Now its time to look forward to the end of the month(muahahaha). Big fat angbao! No treats though cos I slogged for it.

Its day 9 already. Usually I will be struggling to get up to work. But somehow I found even more meaning in coming to work. It pains to hear you telling me that you are sick, and that you are not coming to work tml. I guess I will just have to go back early.

But wait, more liang teh? Pondering if I should drop by tml morning and pass you the liang teh again. Hope it makes you feel better.

Looking forward to this weekend, after so many days of work. I need to chill out a little. Gonna meet Munhong and gang, so long never see them liao. St james again after that? sounds like a plan, but no driving for sure. haha

Today marks a good turn in everything. There's the liang teh, there's the chocolate sticks that I bought for you from japan and there's the trip home. Though its just a short ride to your place, time seems to have come to a standstill on the way.

Feels good, sounds good?

Its day 4 of work. Feeling lethargic, having only to sleep 4-5hrs before coming to work. I am just looking forward to tml night. How nice. Quality time though its only a couple of minutes. I will appreciate it. Trust me.

I dunnoe if i was asking for it, i was browsing through my msn history logfiles.

Changes are inevitable, but for something to change that fast indeed is surprising. The amount of lies involved, an endless list. Mid of week 1 was ok. Things started to turn bad in week 2, and awfully disastrous by end of week 2. Somehow, human nature cannot be fully understood, let alone human feelings. Was I asking for it? I dunnoe, though I was assured and continously re-assured all was well.

I shouldn't have too much free time. Free time = Idiotic thoughts.

Why?

Its been a fruitful week, though I have been working almost everyday. There is a sense of fulfilment, satisfaction. I am gonna rise up, nothing is gonna stop me. Benny, watch out. I am coming for your position.

Its Sunday night, and I am still at work. Just felt like blogging despite the ramp up this week, things are keeping me REAL busy. Its going to be another hectic week ahead but hey, I just look forward to coming to work everyday. Only a few know the real reason. I am not suffocating myself with work, its just time to create some visibility to my bosses.

Hey frens, live like there's no tml. ( No link here, but I like)

I really wonder how i made my way home last night. Amazing.

Manage to chance upon something disgusting, but I shan't mentioned it, cos i think the world noes.

I also din noe how my blog get around so fast, basket, dunnoe to thank or curse and swear at the person. You noe who u are, ASS...

Back to last night : Went to Boulevard. The place where it all happened. I guess I really had been too numb about everything. There was no pain at all. On the flip side, I just enjoyed myself, even though ALL of them went to play PS3 and left me alone on the cushion. Somehow, while I was alone, I sent out a few smses and got more than wat I wanted. I guess i found a certain kind of happiness already. I see the chance coming. I will not waste it.

St James was our next stop. Wow, some cool piece of shit it really is. The live band rocks. The graveyard rocks even more. Downed 2 flaming n graveyard. Sent the rest home. I dun even noe how i made my way to my bed safely. I guess this is the 1st and last time i be brushing the law. No more in future. Its not worth it.

I wanna thank ACES for bringing me so much joy over the past 2 years, esp to LXW for bringing me into the team.

I have achieved much over these 2 years, 2 cheerobics titles and 2 japan trips just to mention a few, but sad to say, i did not see myself leaving ACES on a sad note.

Though I am only a shoulderstand, but I treat my role with pride. I hope the next batch of juniors, whatever role you are, do it with pride, cos the pyramids will not form if there is 1 person less. Jiayou NTU ACES.

No one fully understand what I went through.

Why?
Cos I was dumped.

Why?
Cos I was dumped while overseas.

Why?
Cos I was dumped while overseas with no chance to salvage it.

Why?
Cos I was dumped while overseas with no chance to salvage it, and I had to go Japan with you.

Why?
Cos I was dumped while overseas with no chance to salvage it, and I had to go Japan with you, only to see you get together with my teammate.

Why?
Cos I was dumped while overseas with no chance to salvage it, and I had to go Japan with you, only to see you get together with my teammate, and you showed no compassion for me at ALL.

No one fully understands the amount of pain and anger I went through.

You will not "wallow in self pity", cos you are basking in happiness. I am on the flip side of you. I dun have someone to hold my hand and tell me everything is alright. As simple as that. As long you are happy, you do not have to care what I am going through. Cos you simply did NOT consider how I felt in Japan. All that you said were lies, and when I thought I could trust you for the last time, it unfolded in front of me the very next day. Your intention was just too clear.

For now, I cannot even convince myself whether we could still even be friends. Let time heal the deep wound within me, and let time decide what is best for you and me.

There you go.

Work / Hell

To hell with work, for I will work like hell. Argh.

Just got back from Japan.

Perhaps I was made to go through one of the most cruel time in my life. Having to face her with her new one for 5 days, to juggle between trainings and the competition.

I confess that I cried 3 times in 2 days, though it appears to others that I cried because I sustained injury to my wrist, but deep down in my heart, it was more of the mental than physical hurt that I can no longer endure.

Well, its over. I am back now, hoping this trip will make me a stronger person.

On a brighter note, we got 4th in the international category!(Just behind USA!!!) This trip was also another eye opener, having to meet so many other international cheerleaders, see stunts and pyramids never seen before. WOW... Sometimes I just wanna reconsider my retirement.

Wait a while, I will post the pics when I am done with the unpacking. nites.

Saturday May 31, 2008

Its been a few days since my last entry. It’s the first day of the Cheerleading Asia International Open (CAIO), though most of the team was contented with a 4th position, which is just behind US Tigers, there has been so much drama, so much upsets, seriously I had wished I had not come for this trip.

I mentioned that I had to be strong, but since Monday after my last entry, things started to take a twist. I went for my ONE and only training for the competition after hybrid was injured. This time, I was competing for a total reason. I keep telling myself to be professional, to be an ACES cheerleader for the last time in the international arena. But upon arrival at the training ground, I just didn’t feel good. Seeing the 2 of them being so close just makes me feel awkward. But that was not the end yet. At the airport, I just had to give my seat to that guy whom I had lost my respects for, the guy whom I lost her to. If you were in my shoes, what would you have done?

Friday 30th, the team went to Harajuku for shopping. I purposely avoided the 2 of them, just hoping that I will not see anything unpleasant to my eyes. But somehow, I just had to be the one to see it first. They were already holding hands. Honestly, I was devastated. It has only been 4 days since we broke up, 4 days since I returned from US. All the promises of not getting into another relationship in the near future was just rubbish. I just had to hate myself for coming to japan.

This morning, I twisted my wrist while warming up for the competition. The physical pain was bearable, but the psychological pain was not. I really couldn’t hold back my tears and I just cried. Competition in 6hrs time, I twisted my wrist cos I lost my concentration. What the fuck I was thinking about. No choice, I just had to tape up my wrist and endure all the pain I was suffering. I needed to focus. Then again, while warming up at the arena, I further aggravated the injury. She came to ask me how I was, I just turned away. She must have felt my hostility, but I just didn’t want her to come close. I was just too disappointed in the relationship, for how much effort I had put in to maintain, it only took days for me to lose her. How the hell was I going to concentrate during the competition.

Gathering all that I had, my team performed the routine with all stunts up. The feeling was good at first, but the pain set in again after I left the arena. Fortunately enough, the first aider who attended to me wrapped my wrist so well it minimized any horizontal movement. I still needed ice to bring the swelling down.

We were about to leave the stadium after doing some cheerleading shopping. I had bought some cute little things I promised to buy for her. I really dunnoe if I am treating her as a rebound, but I really felt so comfy with her in US, I noticed too many similarities between us. Age doesn’t matter to me. I guess time will tell.

Drama unfolded immediately. The ruthless couple was at quarreling again. They just stormed out of the stadium, without giving regards to our guide, Naoko. Our team must have given her so much trouble, but yet she has been so much help to the team. I really admire her patience for us. Thank you Naoko.

The team management wanted to replace me without consulting me. This time, the team was on my side. Truly grateful to ZM and Spencer, who voiced out before I could even think of what I was going to do. I thought if I was substituted, I will just grab the next available flight back to SG. I dun want to suffer in Japan anymore.

I guess I just have to continue grinning my teeth for the 2nd league of the competition tml. I need to prove to the rest of the team I am still up for the job though I was in pain. That’s what professionalism is about. I am disappointed with some people, but I did not want to disappoint the team. ACES, jiayou k? We can still beat US. Have faith.

Right now, I just want to complete this journey with ACES, get back to SG, and lead my own life for the time being. I need a break from all these shit. See you guys back in SG.

Labels : CAIO, upset